Showing posts with label The Smell of Poo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Smell of Poo. Show all posts

Sunday, 7 May 2023

Out Now: The Peter Allerton Children's Book Anthology

 The Peter Allerton Children's Book Anthology is Out Now


All NINE stories in just one volume!


I am pleased to announce that both the 'Smell of Poo' and 'Beastly Bullies' children's story book collections are now available in one big compilation: 'The Peter Allerton Children's Book Anthology'!

***May 4th 2023: ALL STORIES HAVE BEEN UPDATED TO THEIR LATEST EDITIONS FOR THE FINAL TIME***


Available in both ebook (accessible on any device via the Kindle reader app) and paperback, the stories tend to slightly increase in reading level as they go along, all the way from the first to the ninth.

There should be something for everyone to enjoy in this Anthology, including younger and older kids as well as their caregivers and teachers alike.

'The Peter Allerton Anthology' includes the following stories:

All five 'Smell of Poo' stories plus two bonus 'Pooems':




Including...
funny kids' ghost story chapter book
Ghost Poo & the Haunted Toilet


Plus all four 'Beastly Bullies' tales!:


Including...




Every story features a set of 'follow-up questions'. These unique and humorous tales might be a bit revolting at times but they may make you think a little bit as well? Anyway, I do hope you enjoy reading them!

Please click on the link for 'The Peter Allerton Children's Book Anthology':




Also available: 'The Guide to Managing Your Child's Behaviour: The concise, comprehensive manual for the behaviour management of children of all ages.'

20 years in the making, while probably not a book for kids to enjoy reading(!), I believe there'll be plenty in there to help make them a lot happier in the long run..!

Thank you...

Monday, 12 October 2020

Updated versions now out for all 'Smell of Poo' and 'Beastly Bullies' stories!

2nd Edition updates for all Peter Allerton stories (including the Collection paperback) now available at your Amazon book store!


Dear Readers,


I am pleased to say that all Peter Allerton stories released so far have now been updated to 2020 'Second Editions'!

All of my books are now inscribed with '2nd Edition 2020' inside their front covers. Please note, if you don't have a Kindle, you can download this 'Kindle App Reader' to access them on any device. 

There is also a paperback version of 'The Smell of Poo' Collection and the 'Beastly Bullies' Collection will also be available in print very soon. You can find them here or in your own country's Amazon book store:

Click here for my UK Author Page


It's been over 5 years since I released my first eight stories (plus the 'Smell of Poo' Collection) and to be honest I was afraid to read them again until I finally found the time to edit and update each one. Thankfully, now that I've been able to return to writing, I've had the chance to spend the last month 'tweaking' them.

Mainly they have been updated to improve their prose and flow, including the paperback version. I was actually quite pleasantly surprised when reading them - there were a few surprises in there even for me and I wrote them! (my memory must be getting worse)

Click here for updated versions of all Peter Allerton books (Amazon US)

I probably still won't make time to finally start promoting them, at least not until I've written 'Peter and the Pet Catcher' - something I've been building up to all year (procrastination should be my middle name!).

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish every single one of my readers and visitors here the very best of luck in what has been a turbulent and challenging year for many people around the world.

I hope my books might at least provide a moment's escape for you.

Will be in touch soon about my new story as well as what I hope to be working on next year!


With love,

PA


Saturday, 10 January 2015

Self-publishing guide to POD with Createspace: 'Smell of Poo' Children's Book out in paperback!

The 'Smell of Poo' Children's Book Collection is now available in print!

FYI EDIT 2020: Createspace has now been merged with Amazon Kindle pages. It is now easier to format and publish a print book using 'Kindle Create':

Use Kindle Create to help publish your paperback book


***

After completing the rather arduous task of formatting the text and cover design to suit a high quality paperback edition (see the guide below so you may benefit from this experience), the 'Smell of Poo' collection is now available in print - for those of you who prefer to hold the actual book in your hands (I still prefer the feel of paper to holding my kindle, but maybe I'm just old fashioned?).

You can find it with all the information you need here:

smell poo funny children's book print
The 'Smell of Poo' is now out in glossy paperback!

How to prepare, format and process your book on Createspace - an easy 'Print on Demand' self-publishing guide:

Even though I don't expect to sell too many print versions as they are more expensive than the ebook version, it'll be nice to give out a few copies to friends and family (my parents are afraid of anything with buttons anyway), so the whole POD process has already been worth it in my view...

With regard to the formatting process, people can charge a lot of money to help you but I recommend being patient and trying to manage it for yourself (as much as I appreciate Createspace and their enabling self-publishing authors to print on demand, I did raise my eyebrows at their fees - hence this advice).

If it's just a regular paperback you're going for, i.e. no colour or pictures inside, then it's not too tricky. Just remember to set your margins for the text, have someone redo your cover design with a blurb on the back, and tick all the necessary boxes in createspace in their step by step self-publishing process.

Firstly, for text formatting, you can see the margin requirements here (6x9 is the recommended book size for most regular fiction):
createspace printing options
createspace printing options

For further advice on this, The Creative Penn is as helpful as ever:
creative penn self-publishing printing advice
Print on demand self-publishing advice
Then, go to Fiverr to find someone who can 'redesign' your ebook cover into a paperback cover with all the right dimensions, etc (it needs to be 300dpi, by the way). Personally I used 'Fluxydesign' who I hope you agree did a nice job:
fiverr createspace POD cover design
createspace POD cover design

children's funny poo paperback cover
Here's the full glossy paperback cover with spine - not bad eh?
Createspace give you a choice of 'matte' or 'glossy' covers. They say that matte is better for fiction / glossy for non-fiction, however for children's books I was advised by an experienced self-published author (see the next link) to still go with glossy - aren't we all usually still drawn to shinier things after all..?
Matte or Glossy book cover
Matte or Glossy book cover?
For the book description section, make sure you have your 'metadata' ready with lots of keywords to help your readers find your book, while also making sure it matches what is in the book itself! Here's a few hints and tips from 'The Book Designer':
Guide to Metadata / Keywords for ebooks bookdesigner
Guide to Metadata / Keywords for ebooks
Incidentally, Createspace also give you the option of choosing a FREE ISBN for your book, which will save you a fair bit of change if you're on a budget.

Everything else in the createspace process was so simple that I'm sure most people will be ok, i.e. selecting distribution channels, pricing and so on - it's a bit of a 'no brainer' really and basically depends on your own intentions.

However, it isn't too obvious that you can 'create' your own createspace estore! It is already set up for your but you can change the colours and background and even add your own banner. Here is a guide to help you along with this:
publishing solo guide createspace estore
Guide to creating your own Createspace 'estore'!
For resizing an image for your banner (good luck with this!) I found the best way was to simply do a 'print screen', paste it into Microsoft Paint, then resize it there. This link might help you if you're as 'techno challenged' as me..:
Guide to 'resizing' with Microsoft Paint
Guide to 'resizing' with Microsoft Paint
Phew, having just written this post it actually seems like quite a lot - but compared to going through the process of finding an agent, then finding a publisher, then getting published and making any kind of profit or reaching a potentially large audience, Createspace and their kind are heaven sent!

Good luck with the self-publishing process! If you have any other useful hints or tips, please leave a comment...
smell poo funny children's book print
The 'Smell of Poo' is now out in glossy paperback!

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Doing the cover design for your ebook

Doing the cover design for your ebook

Keeping it simple (or at least I will try to from now on!)


In hindsight I seem to have spent way too much time messing about with my cover designs, so I thought I may as well do a post about it here.

Basically, for each story I tried to create an image that would capture at least a part of the main theme, while also including something that would catch the eye or help a potential reader notice my books.

After a long and occasionally awkward  process (I had to ask the graphic designer to amend a few things due to the fact that I can be pretty indecisive at times), I finally narrowed the process down to this:

1. Brainstorm / doodle a few images.
2. Sketch the final choice.
3. Send it to someone who can do ‘vector graphics’ on adobe illustrator (I don’t have the patience to learn it myself!).
4. Ask for any revisions.
5. Send the .ai file to a graphic designer.
6. Make sure it is a jpeg with 1600x2400 and 72dpi, and again ask for revisions if necessary (or in my case whenever I realise I’ve made a mistake – for instance initially using Pooh instead of Poo!)
7. Upload it with your book to be published (for instance on Kindle Direct Publishing or Smashwords).
8. Add the image on Pinterest, Flickr, Goodreads, your facebook page and twitter feed, or wherever else you so choose.

One obvious piece of advice which some people still fail to follow is to never start the design process until the story has finished being written – as stories can evolve and the cover can become a bit of a distraction too.

To find a good, affordable designer I suggest shopping around on Fiverr to see who suits what you're looking for. You could even send the same gig to a few different sellers and whoever seems to be the most skilled and cooperative, you can then go to more exclusively in the future.


Fiverr - best cover illustrators and designers
Fiverr - best for cover illustrators and designers

Fiverr is a great resource that can offer real value for money - from what I could find, anywhere else appeared rather expensive for pretty much the same service.

Here are some good ones that I've used...

Artists for the image / illustration:

Rissa88 (who turned my rubbish sketch into a cool and funny cartoon):

Cool vector graphic designs on Fiverr

Billbig (see an example of his work below):

Great Adobe Illustrator on Fiverr
Cover designer:

Fluxydesign (great style and service):

Excellent book cover designer

As an example of how I did one of my covers (in a rather around about sort of way), this is the process I followed for ‘The Poo Princess’:

Too bad I had to alter it yet again due to a 'Pooh versus Poo' controversy! Ah well, at least the change will be just in time for my 'Smell of Poo' children's book collection in paperback  ;-)

And here is the final version:
smell of poo princess allerton
The final version!

If you have any design advice or recommendations of your own, feel free to share them here!


Tuesday, 23 December 2014

'Smell of Poo' children's story book collection: Half price!

Fun Children's Story Book Collection: Just half price!


For just half of the combined total price, you can enjoy the full 'The Smell of Poo' children's story book collection:
funny children's books box set
The Smell of Poo children's book collection on Amazon


'The Smell of Poo' Children's Book Collection: All FIVE 'Smell of Poo' stories!!!!!
(19000 words altogether, ages 6-11)

These funny children’s chapter story books are for Primary School kids of all ages to enjoy. Parents and teachers will also like reading these humorous stories, while they are good for reluctant readers too! They are might sometimes be disgusting but they may also make you think a bit, too...

Included:

The collection also includes the bonus poems (or 'Pooems'):

Who Dunnit? (A smelly classroom mystery)
A ‘who dunnit?’ rhyming mystery about a boy who suspects his classmates of making a smell, while phonetically covering the alphabet at the same time!

Your Poo & You
A poem about our differences and self-acceptance in the shape (literally) of our poos!

All the stories and poems feature a set of 'follow-up questions' at the end. I hope you will enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them!


'The Smell of Poo' children's chapter book collection is available here:

smell of pooh children's book collection amazon
Get 'The Smell of Poo' children's book collection here!

The 'Smell of Poo' Children's Book Collection is also available in print, here (or search it on Amazon in whichever country you are):


The 'Smell of Poo' Collection available in glossy paperback

Monday, 22 December 2014

'Ghost Poo and the Haunted Toilet' children's chapter book is out now!

'Ghost Poo & the Haunted Toilet' children's book is Out Now!

The longest 'Smell of Poo' children's chapter book is here!

funny ghost children's story book
Ghost Poo & the Haunted Toilet on Amazon

John is in a good mood as his parents are about to take him away on a mystery Christmas holiday. However, the trip is much more mysterious than anyone ever planned and John soon finds himself in danger in the most unlikely of places!

funny children’s chapter story book for Primary School kids of all ages to enjoy. Parents and teachers will also like reading this humorous story, while it’s suitable for reluctant readers too.

(for ages 7-12: 7000 words)

Here's an excerpt from Chapter Three: 


Suddenly, the light disappeared. ‘It’s gone out now dad.’

‘Well yes I can see that.’ His voice became a whisper.

They waited for a moment.

Tap, tap, tap.

‘AARGH!’ they screamed. Albert barked.

They all turned around and looked through the back window. The light suddenly came back on to reveal an old lady’s face right outside the car.

‘AAARGH!’

Albert’s bark turned into a whine.

She gave a toothless smile, deep wrinkles creasing all over her face.

‘Can I help you?’ she croaked.


'Ghost Pooh and the Haunted Toilet' is available here:

ghost pooh and haunted toilet children's book
Get 'Ghost Poo and the Haunted Toilet' here!

Sunday, 21 December 2014

'The Secret Adventures of Fart Boy' children's chapter book is here!

'The Secret Adventures of Fart Boy' children's book: Out Now!

Another Smell of Poo children's chapter book is here!

funny superhero children's story book
The Secret Adventures of Fartboy on Amazon

Little Stevie Size has a secret superpower. However, he has only ever used it in his imagination but one day at school he needs it for real! Can he save himself and his friends from big bullies, mean teachers and overly friendly girls? Will he survive his most difficult day ever without anybody discovering his secret?

funny children’s chapter story book for Primary School kids of all ages to enjoy. Parents and teachers will also like reading this humorous story, while it’s suitable for reluctant readers too.

(for ages 6-10: 4600 words)

Here's an excerpt from Chapter Two: 


‘Fartboy’ is what Stevie secretly called himself. Sometimes, when his parents were out, he would draw a large ‘F’ on the front of his pyjamas and wear a sheet around his shoulders like Superman’s cape, flying around the house by using his jet-butt and fighting imaginary criminals with his amazing bottom smells.

His biggest dream was to do this in real life. Stevie wanted to be able to use his clever little bottom to fire a smell in any direction – and at almost any distance – he liked. He tried practising his smell-making skills whenever he was alone, which meant his bedroom eventually smelled so bad that nobody ever went in there, not even his poor pet dog...! 


Then one day at school, Stevie found he needed to use his rumbling powers again, and more than ever before. It was a day that he would never forget...

The story also includes the bonus poem (or 'Pooem'):

                       'Who Dunnit? (A smelly classroom mystery)'

A ‘who dunnit?’ rhyming mystery about Stevie's classmates whom he suspects of making a smell, while phonetically covering the alphabet at the same time!

'The Secret Adventures of Fartboy' is available here:

Saturday, 20 December 2014

The Poo Princess children's chapter book: Out Now!

'The Poo Princess' children's chapter book is out now

Another 'Smell of Poo' children's chapter book is here!

funny children's princess story book
The Poo Princess now available at Amazon

A poor farm girl gets unexpected help from a gremlin, with surprising results! There's humour, romance and drama all rolled into this not-so-traditional children's fairytale with a twist!

funny children’s chapter story book for Primary School kids of all ages to enjoy. Parents and teachers will also like reading this humorous story, while it’s suitable for reluctant readers too.

(for ages 6-10: 2700 words)

Here's an excerpt from Chapter One: 



She lost her balance, tripped and fell backwards, landing on something soft and squishy.

To her surprise, it shouted ‘Get off me!’

‘Woah! A talking snake?’ she asked in disbelief.

The girl looked down and noticed a pair of pointy little green ears poking out from under her bottom. Attached to the ears was a little round green head, with a long pointy nose, big round eyes and chubby little cheeks.

‘Urgh! What kind of snake are you?’ she shrieked.

‘I am no snake! I’m a gremlin, and now I’m a rather flat gremlin – so please get your big smelly bottom off me!’

‘Big?’


'The Poo Princess' is available here: